I laugh at my own optimism, because usually it is a cover for missing the blindingly obvious.
I went back to work yesterday (Note, after three weeks off).
I felt organised and refreshed.
My diary was refreshingly empty.
I heard myself telling friends about how often I was working from home over future weeks.
At the end of day 2 back at work, my diary is filling up, Sheffield next week, London the week after.
The reason my diary was empty was because for at least two of those three weeks I was off people were building up lists of things to talk to me about when I got back.
And optimism of being on top of things for at least the next month turns to the spinning of plates.
I don't mind, I would rather be too busy, and I am still feeling grateful for the time I have had at home.
But, the usual compromises are apparent. Today I worked from home, and for the sake of the OH (thinking I interfere!) I had to stay 'at work' and not keep popping into the lounge to see how my little people were. It is so difficult to be so close and so far from them.
Yesterday was London, and it is so much easier in some respects to leave before they wake, miss them all day, but know there's nothing to be done about it, and get home in time to put them to bed. A rare occasion (getting back in time to put them to bed) but a very good first day back.
I do feel incredibly grateful that we are able to have one of us being a stay-at-home parent, but just sometimes I wish we could do a job share and share the stay-at-home parenting.